How to overcome fear of meeting new people?

Start with small steps: small groups (e.g., 5 people at Metenos), structured conversations (you don't have to come up with topics), safe spaces (public restaurants). The key is choosing a format that reduces social pressure.

Psychology / Relationships / Guide

How to Meet New People?

Scientific approach to building new relationships. 7 proven methods that actually work — without surface-level internet advice.

1. Why Is It So Hard?

Robin Dunbar's research at Oxford shows we maintain a maximum of 150 social relationships, of which only 5 are truly close bonds. The problem is that these 5 spots often fill up in childhood and after university. What if you move? Change jobs? Go through a breakup? Suddenly you have 500 Facebook friends and no one you can call at 2 AM.

2. The Science of Building Bonds

Psychologist Jeffrey Hall from the University of Kansas proved that it takes about 50 hours of time spent together to transition from acquaintance to friendships, and over 200 hours to approach close friendship. The conclusion? A one-time meeting isn't enough — you need a format that naturally encourages return visits.

3. Seven Methods That Work

Social Dining

Shared meal with strangers in a small group (5 people). Metenos is the pioneer of this format in Poland. Food lowers barriers, and intimacy encourages deeper conversations.

Volunteering

Working together for others creates the strongest bonds. Look for local initiatives in your city.

Group Sports

Running, volleyball, yoga — regular training builds the habit of meeting.

Workshops & Courses

Cooking, ceramics, or photography courses connect people with shared interests.

Discussion Groups

Book, philosophy, or debate clubs are spaces for those who value intellect.

Coworking & Networking

Coworking spaces naturally promote meeting people with a similar mindset.

Offline-First Apps

Platforms that serve to organize live meetings, not replace them.

4. Overcoming the Fear of the Unknown

The best conversations in my life were with people I didn't know an hour before.

Social anxiety is the brain's natural reaction to an unknown situation. The trick is to choose a format that minimizes pressure: small groups, clear meeting structure, public spaces. Metenos was designed with exactly this in mind — 5 people at a table is intimate enough to open up without risk.

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